Ro, have you been playing with Ada's ring again?
by the great THEM
Summary: Our take on the overused plot where characters from MiddleEarth fall into our world. No romance. Rated K plus for domestic violence, such as nosepulling.
1. Halffling

****

A/N: Yes, we know this idea has been used far too many times, but this one is differant. One, it is not a romance. Especially not a Legomance. Two, we talk it through before we write it to make it as realistic as possible. Three, we're trying to include several twists that haven't shown up very often before.  
We apologise for the shortness of this chapter. Most of them will be longer. Some of them will be _too_ long.  
Also we apologise for the poor writing in this chapter. The original draft was better, but it was lost when we were trying to transfer from our non-internet computer. This particular chapter is rather hastily written. Hopefully others will be better. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**  
I personally doubt our readers need to be reassured that we do not own these, but here goes:  
Elven Bunny (Elizabeth): We do not own Tolkien's works.  
Butterfly Lion (Hannah): We never got any money from his works, or our fanfiction.  
Elven Bunny: We don't even own one little measly character. I don't even own Gil-galad!  
Butterfly Lion: In this particular story, we own one character each. I own Hannah.  
Elven Bunny: I own Elizabeth.  
Both: Liz owns herself, Tolkien owns Elladan and Elrohir and anything connected with Middle-Earth, and Donker and SVC own themselves, thank goodness. We sure don't want 'em.

**Please, please review this. Otherwise, how will we know it's been read? Constructive criticism is welcome. Believe me, we can handle it.**

_(Default Chapter) Chapter One: Halfling _

Elizabeth's Point Of View, or POV:

It was a hot summer night.

My sister, Hannah, and I were feeling extremely hyper, so we decided to turn on our LotR CD that our friend had custom made with sixteen songs from the internet. We began dancing to get rid of our energy.

At the moment we were dancing back-to-back to a song called halffling. It's a hilariously stupid short song sung by Elijah Wood and Dominic Monaghan, and we were getting pretty spastic. Suddenly, on our beds, where no-one had been before, two people appeared.I froze.

I mean, it's nine forty-five at night, you are dancing in your pyjamas and acting like basic morons, when two random _males_ appear in your bedroom. What would you do? Scream at the top of your lungs?

As I said, I froze, and Hannah bumped into me before turning around. We simultaneously grabbed the closest items- for me, a belt, for her, a quilt, and attacked.

As I flailed at the dude on my bed, he grabbed the belt before it could hit his face and pulled me down. Hannah all but attempted to smother the other guy. He grabbed her, flipped her over, and sat on us.

The one I had attacked pulled out some flint and a knife from his bag and lit a torch. He slowly pulled back the quilt to reveal me feebly whacking with the belt, and Hannah chewing on his companion's hand.

" 'Ro, you're sitting on two little girls," he said. 'Ro jumped up, apologising profusely. 

"WE ARE NOT LITTLE GIRLS!" yelled Hannah. "Who are you, and WHAT ARE YOU FREAKIN' DOING IN MY BEDROOM?"   
"I'm Elrohir," said the one that I had attacked. I snorted. "And I suppose the other is Elladan? Get real." 

"I am. We were just walking in the woods, and we appeared here," said the supposed Elladan. 

"You expect us to believe that?" Hannah asked."Well, we have some problems here. One, we don't know you, two, you don't know us, three, you're in our bedroom, and four, we're in our pyjamas." 

The torch flared as it was raised, and Hannah and I gasped as we caught sight of the men's faces. 

They had pointed ears.


	2. Proof

**A/N**: More chapters will be added every few days or so. We have several written, we're just spacing them out. Hmm... I guess we have to do a disclaimer.  
Elizabeth: NOOOOOOO!  
Hannah: We must... we must. cries  
Elizabeth: Yes, it's true...  
Hannah: We...  
Elizabeth: ...don't...  
Hannah: ...own...  
Elizabeth: sob Middle Earth. 

_Chapter Two: Proof_

Hannah's POV:

The supposed Elrohir shrugged. "One... one. Umm... One. We are elves. Two-"

"Yeah, sure. You're elves. Prove it," I said. He turned to face the other dude. About this time Elizabeth had grabbed some clothes and fled to the bathroom.

"Would showing you our skills in archery convince you?" asked "Elladan". I snorted. "Yeah, shoot in the dark. You'd probably hit Patrick. Besides, the only reason why your ears are pointy is because you had plastic surgery."

"What's plastic surgery?" asked "Elrohir". "Elladan" shrugged. "Who's Patrick?"

"Our dog," I snapped. I then noticed the bags that they were carrying. "What's in there?"

"Survival tools, and other odds and ends," he said, waving his hand dismissingly. Then his face brightened. "Hey! If we shot in the dark at a target and hit it, would you believe us?"

"Maybe," I said dubiously. Just then, Elizabeth came in. I was wearing pyjama pants so I didn't have to change. We went outside, and I pointed at a telephone post far away. "Could you hit _that_?" "Elrohir" pulled out his bow and tested it. "With ease."

The next thing I knew, an arrow fletched with blue feathers was quivering in the telephone pole.

I blinked rapidly. "Uh...um...that could have been a lucky shot," I stammered.

"Elladan" whipped out his bow and before I could blink again another arrow thudded into the telephone pole right above the first.

Elizabeth and I turned and slowly faced each other. She raised her eyebrows at me.

"Some LotR freaks are perfectly capable of archery lessons," I whispered.

"So how else can we test them?" asked Elizabeth.

I shrugged. "First off we have to get their arrows out of that telephone pole." We walked across the street, and I tugged on an arrow.

It didn't even wiggle.

I yanked on it, and nothing happened. Elizabeth tried. Nada. "Elladan" walked over and yanked them out.

"Let's see if they can control Patrick and Pierre," Elizabeth and I whispered to each other at the same time. We burst out into giggles.

"Ok, buckoes. You may have been able to do that one, but this doesn't depend on you. Well, sorta. Go into the yard, and we'll see how Patrick likes you," I said, climbing over the fence. Patrick ran up and leaped at my face, trying to cover me in sloppy kisses. He ran up to "Elladan" and "Elrohir" and ran around in circles, wagging his tail.

"Tell him to sit," said Elizabeth. "Elrohir" said something in another language- elvish, presumably- and Patrick sat.

"Roll over?" I suggested weakly. "Elladan" whispered something to Patrick, and he rolled over. We had never taught him how to do that.

"Well... I guess this means you really are elves," I said with my eyes wide. "Now what?"

"It's ten o'clock. Mama will be home in forty-five minutes," said Elizabeth, turning her watch on. "We need to find a place to hide you two before she comes home."

"Just a shelter would be fine," said Elladan, glancing at the dog house. I had a mental image of an elf, folded up double while a dog licked his face, and shook my head.

Elrohir glanced at the fort. I shook my head. "Sooner or later someone would find you... I know of a place in the woods."

Elizabeth nodded. We crossed the street, and with the help of Elladan's torch, we made our way to the Spastic Spatulas Clubhouse.

Our friends had helped us make it, and eventually, we had piled up walls of sticks and bracken. An old crate side made a door, and there was a small hole dug in the middle. Elladan began to ring it with stones. Elrohir looked around. "Not exactly first-class accomodations, but we're used to it. Who made it?"

"We and our friends," I explained. Elladan dumped some wood in the hole and lit it with his torch. "This place is fine to stay in."

We waved goodbye walked back to our house. I whispered to Elizabeth, "I wonder if I could convince them to teach us archery."

"Maybe," said Elizabeth, and fell asleep. I lay awake for a while, thinking about the day's events.

**A/N**: Bwahaha! The Spastic Spatulas Clubhouse really exists!


	3. Introductions

**A/N**: Haha, we shall torture you more. All the characters are real, including us, Liz, and Elladan and Elrohir. THEY ARE REAL! ELVES ARE REAL! WE DO NOT OWN MIDDLE EARTH, BUT IT IS REAL! Is carried away, screaming 

Thank you, Elvin BlueEyes and Crapoholics. Our two whole reviewers :) 

_Chapter Three: Introductions_

Elizabeth's POV:

I woke up the next morning at five thirty, a little later than I normally do. 

I grabbed Hannah's arm and shook her. She slapped my face and sat up. "What?" she demanded. 

'We had visitors last night! Remember?" I whispered urgently. 

Hannah's eyes flew wide and she leapt up. "Meet you at fort S.S. in two hours!" she whispered, and began pulling out clothes from her dresser. I nodded and rushed downstairs to my room to dress, then checked the clock. 

Drat. I still had to wait an hour and fifty-six minutes. 

Hannah ran down the stairs and grabbed a banana. "Since we're both ready,we should watch a movie or something. It's still at least an hour and forty-five minutes until seven thirty." 

We started watching the Lord of the Rings, since that was what was on both our minds. We got caught up in it, and didn't look at the clock until eight. 

"We'd better get going," I told Hannah. She reluctantly stopped the movie. 

We crept out the front door and stumbled down the path in the woods. 

Elladan and Elrohir were sitting cross-legged in the clearing, inspecting a small plastic object. 

"Good morning," I called cheerfully. 

They looked up. They had their cloaks wrapped around themselves and looked identical, with their clothes covered up. 

"Good morning," returned one of them. 

"What are you looking at?" Hannah asked, pushing open the crate-door. 

" 'Dan found this lying on the ground here," explained one of them. I mentally marked him down as Elrohir, and leaned forward to try to see the object. 

"It's made of a strange substance," said Elladan, holding it up. Hannah and I glanced at each other and laughed. 

"It's plastic," I explained. "That's the jewel from my friend's spatula handle. She lost that more than a year ago!" 

"Plastic?" asked Elrohir. 

"Spatula?" asked Elladan. 

"Plastic is a substance that was invented a while ago, and spatulas are kitchen utensils," Hannah elaborated. 

"Like spoons?" said Elrohir confusedly. 

"Sort of," I conceded. 

"We've been discussing the list of problems you gave us yesterday," Elladan told Hannah. "If you remember, last night we only got through number one." 

"Oh, yes." I sat down on a log. "Go ahead." 

"Two," said Elrohir. "is easily remedied. You merely have to introduce yourselves." 

"I'm Elizabeth," I said, holding my hand out. 

They each shook it courteously. 

"I am twelve years old," I continued. 

They nodded together. 

"I'm Hannah," my sister added, "and I'm fourteen." 

They each shook her hand and we all sat down cross legged in a circle. 

"Item three was that we were in your bedroom," said Elrohir. 

"Well, obviously that's been remedied," added Elladan. 

"And we also solved the problem of us being in our pyjamas," I finished. 

"So, now what?" Hannah asked. "Are you hungry?" 

"Slightly," conceded Elladan. 

"We'll be right back," I said, leaping up. 

Hannah and I raced down the path and burst into the kitchen. I grabbed a handful of fruit and Hannah poured two glasses of milk. 

"What do elves eat, anyway?" Hannah asked. I shrugged. Hannah glanced down at the food we had. "That ought to be enough," she decided. 

We were about to walk out the door when our mom's voice came down the stairs. 

"What are you girls doing?" 

"Um...we were going to go eat breakfast in the woods..." I said nervously. 

"I'd rather you didn't take any food out of the house," she called. 

"Okay," Hannah called back. 

We set the fruit and milk back, and looked dejectedly at each other. 

"How are we going to feed them?" I asked. 

We looked at each other and said simultaneously, "Liz!" 


	4. Enter the Friend

**A/N**: Do we really have to post a disclaimer on _every_ chapter? I dunno, but I guess we'd better for now.   
Hannah: NONONO! We won't do it!   
Elizabeth: We have to. (Sigh) Ok, ok. Grabs pen and scribbles something down on it, then signs her name in elvish   
Hannah: (Sniffle) I will sign it... signs her name in elvish and thrusts the paper at the readers There! You have your stupid confession. 

On a different note:  
Elvin BlueEyes: We're glad you approve. :)  
crapoholics: (sniffle) someone really excited about our story...so touching...(breaks down crying)   
Lady Alionae: Oh, you're so nice! So glad you like our spelling and grammar :) and the spastic spatulas...

...   
_Chapter Four: Enter the friend_

Hannah's POV:

We rushed out the door and ran two houses down to where one of our best friends lived. I hoped that her obnoxious brother (nicknamed Donker) would not open the door.

No such luck.

We waited patiently while he hollered for Liz, and when she arrived we did our ritual handshake. I'd describe it but it's too long. Anyway, after we were done she ushered us into her room and sat down on the bed.

"Liz, we must tell you something very serious," said Elizabeth and I, with vain attempts to look solemn. It did not work.

"What?" asked Liz, looking from one of us to the other.

I had just started to speak when Liz's younger sister came rushing into the room. I clamped my mouth shut.

"Liz, please remove the Small Vermin Child," Elizabeth said quietly.

Liz and her sister struggled for a while until finally the SVC was evicted.

I locked the door and looked from Elizabeth to Liz.

"Liz, can you come to the woods with us? There's something we'd like to show you."

"And bring food, if you can," Elizabeth added.

"Um...okay," said Liz. "Is it a _good_ something?

"Yes," Elizabeth and I said together.

"Did you find my spatula handle? Or maybe Sayna's skeleton?"

(**A/N Sayna was a rabbit we buried in the woods by Fort S.S. His grave was dug up slightly and he may have been carried off by wild animals.**)

"Maybe," Elizabeth said.

"Please tell me? Please, please, please?" Liz begged,her natural inquisitiveness taking over.

"It would be much better to show you," I said decisively. "Just grab some food and come with us."

Liz ran from the room to ask her parents, and Elizabeth and I sat on opposite sides of her bed staring at each other.

"I suppose we'll probably have to convince Liz like they convinced us," Elizabeth said.

"No doubt," I answered.

"We'll have to find a new target... that'll be tricky."

"Not necessarily," I shrugged. "We could just do the dog test."

"Too twue, too twue," Elizabeth said, nodding her head sagely.

We both cracked up.

Liz came back into the room, holding three bananas and two bagels.

"That'll work, thanks Liz," Elizabeth said. "What about drink?"

"I'll get some sprite. How much do you want?"

"Do you want any?" I asked.

Liz shrugged, then nodded.

"Get five," Elizabeth decided.

"_Five_ cans of sprite for three people?" Liz asked incredulously.

"Well, you see...oh whatever, I'll tell you later. But we'll show you why we need five," I said elusively.

Liz looked at us rather quizzically, then grinned. "I think I'll bring my cross-stitch."

"Good idea," said Elizabeth. "We might also take any old cushions or blankets. Also a tarp. It's time Fort S.S. got a mini-makeover."

Liz "borrowed" an old tarp from the garage, and we headed down the road.

"They're probably waiting for us," Elizabeth reminded me in a whisper.

"They'll understand," I whispered back.

"Guys, quite whispering," Liz warned.

We raided our house for unused sheets and pillows, then started down the path into the woods.

Suddenly Liz stiffened.

"What's the matter, Liz?" Elizabeth asked anxiously.

"I hear Donker following us," Liz whispered.

I groaned inwardly. "I wish Janene was here. Then he'd be too scared to follow us," I muttered.

Liz giggled and said loudly, "Janene, Donker's following us. Go pull on his nose, will you?"

We heard the sound of footsteps running away hurriedly, and collapsed in giggles.

As Fort S.S. came into view, Liz began her questioning again.

"Is it something alive?"

"Yes," replied Elizabeth.

"A mammal?"

"Yes," I sighed.

"Human?"

"No. Definitely not."

"So it's an animal. Is it something cute?"

Poor Liz had no clue why Elizabeth and I burst into giggles.

"You might find it cute," I said. Elizabeth snorted.

We walked into the middle of the clearing, and set the pillows and blankets on the ground.

Liz set the food on a stump, while Elizabeth climbed into a tree and began making the tarp into a roof.

"So, where's the surprise?" Liz asked.

Just then, Elladan and Elrohir walked into the fort.

"I see you brought breakfast," Elladan said.

Liz's jaw dropped.


	5. Many Meetings

**A/N**:  
**Hannah:** I don't think we need a disclaimer in this chapter. I mean,they _could_ just read this disclaimers in the other chapters.   
**Elizabeth:** But what if they only read this chapter? They might think we're saying we own the Lord of the Rings!   
**Hannah:** Oh! The horrors! I suppose we'd better do a disclaimer after all!   
**Elizabeth:** Ahem...clears throat We own all the characters in the Lord of the Rings, except...   
**Hannah:** Elladan, Elrohir, Aragorn, Arwen, Frodo, Sam, Bergil, Ioreth, Eowyn...   
**Elizabeth:** Eomer, Theoden, Pippin, Merry, Gandalf, Elrond, Glorfindel, Legolas, Gimli, Gil-Galad, Beregond, Faramir, Boromir...   
_Voices fade off into the distance, as they are dragged off the stage still naming characters_   
To put it straight, we don't own any of them 

Reviewers: Because Butterfly Lion, who is the one last-minute editing this, is too lazy to respond to each viewer's comment, she will just say: Thank you, Elvin BlueEyes, Crapoholics, Lady Alionae, Black as the Shadows, and Anawey. 

... 

_Chapter Five: Many Meetings_

Elizabeth's POV: 

Elladan walked over to Liz and gently closed her mouth. She looked back and forth from him to Elrohir, then turned to us and whispered, "Well, I agree, the surprise is cute...but I wouldn't say "cute". I would say maybe "good-looking"." 

"_Liz!_" I exclaimed, shocked. 

"Well they _are_," she protested. 

The twins stood with their heads cocked, trying to figure out what we were talking about. 

"In this case, I have to agree with Liz," Hannah whispered. 

I turned to her disbelievingly, and she clapped her hand over her mouth. "I did _not_ just say that," she gasped. I twitched my eyebrows at her and turned to the twins. 

"We brought food, courtesy of Liz," I said, motioningy to the bagels and sprite. 

"You must be Liz, then," Elrohir said, smiling at her. Liz shook his hand. "I'm Elrohir, and this is Elladan," he added. 

Elladan bowed. "How do you do." 

Liz was looking back and forth at us in disbelief. "You're _who_ again?" 

"Elladan and Elrohir," Hannah said. "We can prove it to you." 

Liz turned to Hannah and put her hands on her shoulders. She stared into Hannah's eyes, then said, shocked, "You're telling the truth. I can't believe it, but you're telling the truth! This really _is_ Elladan and Elrohir?" 

"In the flesh," I answered. 

"Are we going to get this kind of reception whenever we meet _anybody_?" Elladan whispered to Elrohir. 

"Probably." I told him. "You're going to have to get used to it. People have heard of you here, but they think you're just myths. Same with all the elves." 

Elrohir closed his eyes. "Eru preserve us," he whispered. "We're myths." 

Elladan patted him on the back. "It won't be that bad," he said consolingly. "Just think of all the girls we haven't met." He jumped back nimbly, barely avoiding Elrohir's slap. 

Seeing the strange look on our faces, he laughed and said, "I forgot you three wouldn't know this. You see, most people who know 'Ro are aware of his fear of females. He can't stand the creatures." 

"Tacful, saying that to three girls," Elrohir mumbled. "What 'Dan means is I don't like women. Little girls I have no problem with," he said, glaring at Elladan. 

"Not little, exactly," said Elladan quickly. "How old are you, Liz?" 

Liz looked a little freaked out at hearing her name from an elf. "I'm thirteen," she said quickly. 

"Like what hobbits would call teenagers," Elrohir commented. 

"We call it teenagers too," I pointed out. 

"When you say "What 'Dan means is," or "What 'Ro's trying to say is," how do you know the other means that and won't get mad at you?" Liz inquired. 

"We're twins. We've been living together all our lives," Elladan and Elrohir answered simultaneously. They grinned at each other. 

Hannah cleared her throat. "_Any_ways, there is food here." She handed a bagel each to Elladan and Elrohir, then demonstrated how to open the sprite cans. 

They devoured the bagels with alarming alacrity, then tried the sprite. 

"This drink is strong!" Elladan exclaimed, looking at his sprite can suspiciously. "Is it some sort of wine?" 

"Not exactly," Hannah replied. "You can't get drunk on it." 

"So, how'd you guys get here?" Liz inquired, idly tapping her can. 

Elladan and Elrohir looked at each other and shrugged. "We really do not know," Elrohir explained. 

"We were walking, there was a flash, and we found ourselves in the bedroom of your friends," Elladan added. 

Liz turned to me with one eyebrow raised. "They appeared in your _bedroom_?" 

Hannah nodded. "We were awake at the time, fortunately." 

"We were dancing," I added in a whisper. "In our nightgowns." 

"And then you attacked us," Elladan complained. "All we did was appear. I barely had time to sit up before you tried to smother me with a quilt!" 

"Well, it _was_ their house," Liz said reasonably. "If you were in your nightclothes and someone appeared in your room, wouldn't you attack them?" 

"Elves do not wear nightgowns," Elrohir pointed out. "Especially not male elves. Ellyth, maybe, but not us." 

Elladan nodded. "But I see your point. I suppose their attack was justified." 

"I'll say," I muttered. "So, what now?" 

"You guys stay and have a pillow fight or something. I'm going to go get something," Liz said. She took off at a run and was soon lost among the trees. 

"A pillow fight? What does she mean by that?" Elrohir asked. 

"Like this," I said, clobbering him upside the head with a pillow. He stared at me, shocked, then covered his head as Hannah raised a pillow over it.

"Defend yourself!" I shouted, tossing him a pillow. He looked at it quizzically, then shrugged and threw it at Elladan, who caught it deftly. 

Hannah and I juggled two pillows between us, then each caught one and therw them at the twins. Hannah went down under an attack from Elladan, and I hastened to her rescue, only to find myself whacked in the head by Elrohir. 

"You seem to be getting the hang of it," I commented, ducking a flying projectile. 

"I'm not sure what you mean by "hang", but I understand the gist of it," Elladan answered. 

"EAT FEATHERS, DANNY BOY!" Hannah yelled, jumping on Elladan's back and knocking him over. He grabbed her by the feet and stole her pillow. 

I grinned at her and tried to trip Elrohir, ending up flat on my back in half a second. 

"You guys are good," Hannah grinned. 

"I am very glad to hear that," the twins said in unison. They smiled at each other and simultaneously hit us with the pillows. 

"To think we have debased the sons of Elrond to pillow-fighting," I whispered to Hannah. "Do you think we'll ever be forgiven?" 

"With time," she whispered back. 

Suddenly Elladan and Elrohir froze. We bumped into them, dropping our pillows on the ground. 

"You're friend is back," Elrohir told us. 

A few seconds later, Liz appeared. She had three bowls balanced in her arms. 

"I brought ice cream," she grinned. 

Rustling was heard behind her and a dark-haired, familiar head poked out of the trees. 

"And Janene," Liz added. 


	6. Talking Crunchy

**A/N**: Hmm… I'm glad all you reviewers kept up with us. :-) And, um, Elvin BlueEyes: We meant they don't wear nightGOWNs. sorry.   
Elizabeth: Ok... Disclaimer!   
Hannah: Wooga doogan't oogawn thooga Loogard oogaf thooga Roogangs.   
Elizabeth: In case you're wondering, that's caveman Latin. Made up by my brother, Hannah and me when we were little. You replace all vowels with ooga.   
Hannah: For instance, my name is Hoogannoogah. Janene's is Jooganooganooga. Elizabeth's is Oogaloogazoogaboogath. Nice, huh?   
Elizabeth: Let me say my favorite phrase, then you can read the story. "Oogaoogaooga, moogadoogamoogaoogasoogallooga". That's "Oui, madamoiselle". 

_Chapter six: Talking crunchy_

Hannah's POV: 

Janene and Liz entered. 

"Hi Janene," I said. 

She bit me on the arm. 

"Is your friend alright?" whispered Elladan. I nodded. "She's just kinda weird. That's her way of saying hello." 

"That's how she says **hello**? How does she say goodbye?" said Elrohir, his eyes wide. 

"Like this," said Janene, and nodded, then gave a stiff little wave. Elrohir blinked. "Alright..." 

"Actually, we have a lot of ways to say goodbye," Elizabeth added. She and I proceeded to rapidly perform the spastic spatula's secret handshake. 

First, we held out our hands, index and middle finger together, ring and pinky finger together. We touched each other's hands. 

"Elf Escort has a name," Elizabeth intoned. 

"Figwit," I answered. 

We patted each other's cheeks and kissed each other's backs.   
We puched each other's fists.   
Then, we bumped shoulders.   
We put our arms around each other's shoulders and laughed.   
We did the sign language for "stupid" (a sideways peace sign held to our foreheads) and brought our hands out to meet each other's.   
We stood side by side, snapped our fingers twice, drummed on our stomaches, whirled our arms so they locked into a salute,then untwisted them and twisted them into a salute the other way. 

"Give me some fin," Elizabeth said, holding out her hand.   
I slapped it. "Noggin," I said, bumping her forhead with mine. 

"Duuuude," we both said. 

We put our right hands on each other's shoulders and bonked heads, saying, "Namarie." 

This routine was delivered at mind-boggling speed, our having had over a year of practice. 

Elladan's eye twitched. 

"The only thing I understood of that was the word "Namarie". Did the rest of it mean anything?" 

"Yes, lots," said Liz. 

"No, not really," said Janene at the same time. 

Elrohir and Elladan sort of stared at us in shocked silence, then looked at each other and shrugged. 

"So, who are you guys anyway?" asked Janene. 

"I am called Elladan. This is Elrohir," Elladan said, motioning to his brother. 

"Oh. I'm Janene." 

"You believe us?" Elrohir said incredulously. 

"Yeah. I could tell." Janene answered matter-of-factly. 

"How?" Elladan inquired. 

"You're so crunchy," Janene said. 

They gave her odd looks, then turned to us. 

"What exactly does she mean by crunchy?" 

"I have no clue," Elizabeth answered. 

"It can mean anything," Liz added. 

Janene grinned. 

Elrohir stared at her. "Are you sure you're human?" 

"I'm not human. I'm a Dwelf," Janene answered. 

"A what?" Elladan said, raising one eyebrow. 

"Don't ask." Liz advised. 

"So, have you seen Gimli recently?" Janene asked. 

"You know Gimli?" Elrohir asked. 

"Of course I know him! He's my brother!" Janene yelled. 

Elladan's eye twitched again. "That...doesn't make sense." 

"Janene doesn't make sense." Elizabeth said matter-of-factly. 

"But she's always right, sense or no," I added. 

The twins looked at us with something akin to fear in their bright eyes. 

"We're not always this strange, don't worry," Liz reassured them. "Sometimes we act almost normal." 

"This has been going on long enough," Elizabeth said suddenly. "We've been doing nothing but talk, talk, talk, and I think something needs to _happen_!" 

"She's right," Liz said. "You two can't stay out here in these woods forever. You need some normal clothes, some more pillows and sheets, and some food." 

"What do you mean by normal clothes?" Elrohir asked. 

I pointed to my jeans and t-shirt. "Something more like this." 

"Where on earth are we going to get clothes?" Elizabeth asked. 

"The boutique, _duh_! You can be such diputsi sometimes!" Janene exclaimed. 

Liz smacked herself on the forehead. "Of course! Where else could we get free clothes! I'll go right now!" 

She took off down the path, almost hitting her head on a tree branch. 

"What should we do while she's gone?" I asked. 

"Teach Elladan and Elrohir to talk like us," Janene said. 

Elizabeth and I stared at her in awe. "Of course! They can't go anywhere talking like they do! We desperately need to teach them slang words, I mean, even the words "guys" and "ya'll" aren't in their vocabulary," Elizabeth said. 

**A/N: **And, it'll make it a lot easier for us to write their speech. We were having struggles with _not_ making them talk slang. 

We spent almost an hour instructing them on the _im_proper way of speaking. 

"And definitely, _definitely_, do not, whatsoever, say "thee" or "thou" to anyone. Not even the president. Just be polite," I was saying as Liz came bounding back into the clearing. 

"Mission successful," she said cheerfully, waving some clothes in the air. 

"I think we'd better go. You guys can figure out how to put these clothes on. After you're done, come down the path and we'll be waiting. We're going to MacDonald's for lunch," Elizabeth said, taking the clothes from Liz and tossing them to the twins. 

"MacDonald's?" asked Elrohir. 

"See ya later," said Elladan. 

We waved goodbye, heading down the path a ways. "Did I just hear an elf say "_See ya later_"? What did you do to the sons of Elrond?" Liz asked. 

'We taught them to talk crunchy," said Janene.


	7. Oh yeah, we forgot to tell you

****

A/N: Bwahaha… We have seven different reviewers...feel so loved...yeah...   
**Disclaimer**   
Elizabeth: These disclaimers are getting really annoying...  
Hannah: But we have to do them. We will do J.R.R. Tolkien honor!   
Elizabeth: ...   
Hannah: -realizes she's jumped up onto a table- Er... Ahem. You know we do not own LotR.   
Elizabeth: And that sadly, we never will.   
Hannah: Obviously. We've told you that several times now, so I hope you get the message.   
Elizabeth: Savvy? 

_Chapter seven: Oh yeah, we forgot to tell you..._

Elizabeth's POV: 

We waited at the end of the path, and sure enough, Elladan and Elrohir came. They looked slightly... odd with their long black hair, but they passed for normal people now. We headed down the road. 

"Why do these wagons run with no horses?" asked Elladan, watching the cars whiz by. 

"They have a fuel inside that makes them run," Hannah explained as best she could. 

"Where are all the trees?" asked Elrohir wistfully. Liz scowled darkly. "The stupid people chopped them down for their apartments. We used to have trees everywhere here." 

"At least we still have _some_," I said timidly. "I've seen neighborhoods where they only have about one tree per house." 

"That's just sad," said Liz. Janene shrugged. "I like trees." 

Hannah stared sadly at the woods. "Pathetic people, cutting down all the trees," she said sulkily. 

"They _cut down_ all the trees?" Elladan asked incredulously. 

We said nothing, but nodded. As we approached the MacDonalds, Janene said, "I hope we don't see anyone here we know. They'd be sure to ask who you are. We could tell them, but we'd have to kill them." 

Elladan and Elrohir looked at each other and shrugged. 

We entered the building. (Insert suspensful music here) 

We saw... 

No one we knew. Thank goodness. 

"You guys sit next to each other and we'll sit opposite you," Liz said. 

"Why?" inquired Elrohir idly. 

"I don't want it to look like we're on some kind of weird double-date or something," Liz explained. 

"Date?" asked Elladan. "Can we speak the same language here?" 

Hannah and I left Liz to explain the concept of dating while we ordered fruit-and-walnut salads for everyone. "I didn't think it was right for elves to eat hamburgars," I explained to Hannah. "And Liz being partly vegetarian, I didn't want to force her to look at meat." 

Hannah nodded. She and I carried the trays of food to the table and set them down. 

"What is it?" Elrohir asked. 

"Apples, grapes, and walnuts. With yogurt." 

"Yogurt? Is that like cream?" 

We looked at each other and shrugged. "Sort of," Hannah said. 

We sat down and passed out the food. After a quick prayer, we all dug in. Elladan and Elrohir had a little bit of trouble with the forks. 

"How do you use this thing?" Elladan asked, trying to scoop up a chunk of apple. 

"Skewer it." Janene said. 

"But that sounds so brutal," Elrohir protested. 

"Janene tortures apples," Liz explained. Hannah nodded. 

"HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME? I'm her evil assistant! She gives out the orders, but I actually _do_ the torturing!" I protested, earning a few nervous glances from other customers. 

The twins gave Janene and me odd looks, then shrugged at each other. 

"They do that a lot," Hannah commented. "So, did Liz and Janene explain dating to you?" 

Elladan nodded. "It's like a casual courtship in which hardly any loyalty or faithfulness is required, but which makes people boast as much as if they were engaged." 

"And it be anywhere from this inn- er, restaurant, to a 'movie' or a church," Elrohir added. 

"That's basically it," Hannah shrugged. "The sad thing is that people start young. Some people are 'dating' at the age of eleven." Liz blinked her eyes at the ceiling innocently. 

"They also explained the phrases 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend'," Elladan said. 

I nodded sympathetically. "I'm sorry for exposing you to our strange customs," I said, "but you have to know what people are talking about." 

We ate in silence for a while. 

"So, um...I've noticed people don't wear a whole lot of clothing in your land," Elrohir said. 

"Especially the girls," said Elladan disapprovingly. "Though of course you- what was the word again? You- _guys_ are dressed fine. It's some of the others that we keep having to..." he squinted, trying to find the right phrase. 

"Avert your eyes modestly?" Hannah suggested. 

Janene wrinkled her nose. "They're all idiots," she said. 

"Not all of them," Liz protested. Janene shrugged. "Some of them are just mentally retarded." 

"_JANENE_," Liz protested. 

"Well, okay then." Janene rolled her eyes. "They're just _misinformed_." 

"Much better," said Hannah. 

"Why are those girls staring at us?" Elrohir said, changing the subject. 

We all turned. Some teenage girls were staring at the twins, their jaws dropped open. Janene gave them a _look_. 

They quickly turned away, still looking at the two elves out of the corners of their eyes. 

"So, why were they staring?" Elladan whispered. 

"Because they think you're 'hot'," Hannah whispered back. 

"Hot? As in warm?" Elrohir asked. 

"'Hot' means good-looking," Liz explained. 

"Extrudable word," Janene commented. I nodded in agreement. 

"Extrudable? Yet another strange word?" Elladan asked, raising his eyebrows. 

"The proper explanation is 'to force out or push through,' but we use it to mean like forcing somebody's body through a meat grinder type thing," I explained. 

Elladan and Elrohir were about to look at each other and shrug, when Hannah leaned across the table and grabbed Elladan's shoulders. 

"Don't give us odd looks," she said. "You'll wear out your eyes." 

"Not to mention if you shrug too much you'll pull a shoulder muscle," I added. 

"By the Valar, you children are strange!" Elrohir exclaimed. 

"Oh yeah, we forgot to tell you," Janene said. "Few people have even heard of the Valar. And nobody believes in them anyway." 

"Don't _believe in_ the Valar?" Elladan yelled, earning him a stare from a restaurant employee.


	8. Duh, and other explanations

**A/N**: Wow, we never expected to get so many reviewers. Thanks guys!   
**Disclaimer**  
**Elladan**: ...Elrohir? How in Eru's name did they convince us to do a disclaimer for them?  
**Elrohir**: No idea. Anyway. -turns to face the readers- Suilad, mellyn nîn. Greetings, friends mine. Erunyauvë and Eruannë- er, Elizabeth and Hannah do not own us. Take a look at us.  
_-The audience does, the girls whispering their approval.- -Elrohir turns a bright shade of red, and Elladan takes the lead.-_  
**Elladan**: Obviously we are elves. We didn't need to tell you that. So, how is it possible that two little girls could own us? Make us, or whatever?   
**Elrohir**: -regains his composure- Obviously they could not. Good day.

_Chapter eight: Duh, and other explanations_

Hannah's POV:

I patted Elrohir on the back sympathetically. "You see, the Valar don't really exist in our world."

He almost choked on his drink. "They really don't exist? At all?"

Elizabeth shrugged. "You see, our world is round. You can go clear around it."

"That's right," Liz confirmed. "No Valinor."

"But...but what about..." Elladan sputtered.

"Oh yeah, and we don't have any elves here," I remembered.

Elrohir put his head in his hands. "Oh, Valar, how did we ever get into this mess?"

"Is that sapphire real?" Janene asked.

"Huh? What sapphire?" Elizabeth asked.

Janene pointed to a silver and sapphire ring that adorned Elrohir's finger.

Elrohir sighed. "Yes, it's real."

Elladan's eyes went wide. " 'Ro, have you been playing with Ada's ring _again_?"

"No!" said Elrohir, insulted. "I haven't done that since I was twenty-five!"  
(**A/N**: That's ten years old in human years. Elves mature one year in two and a half human years.)  
"Well then, why are you wearing it?" asked Liz.

Elrohir looked uneasily at Elladan. "Promise not to say anything until I'm done explaining?"

We all promised.

He explained that:

"Ada asked me to take the ring and heal a sick ellon. He was past the help of the healers, see. Ada couldn't go, as he was needed at a council, so he gave it to me.  
"After I healed the ellon, I decided to stop by Lothlórien to visit my grandmother, Galadriel. She let me look in the mirror. While I was looking, the ring slipped off and fell in the basin. I was about to grab it, but Grandmother stopped me and said: 'Elrohir! _Do not touch the water!_ I shall return it to you before you take your leave.'  
"True to her word, the day I left she gave it back, shining like fire. I have no idea how she could get it any brighter then before, but anyway- that's a... rabbit trail, as you would say. I didn't put it on, but kept it in my pocket as I didn't want it to fall off again. On my way back, I met up with 'Dan. He was coming out to meet me. When we reached the ford, I put on Vilya to make the waters go down so we could cross. When we set foot on the bank, there was a sudden flash, and 'Ro and I appeared in your..." Elrohir blushed. "...bedroom."

"Oh, so **that's** why the waters went down. I thought it was from Ada, commanding them in Imladris," exclaimed Elladan.

Elrohir took off the ring, held it up, and stuck it back in his pocket.

"It's much prettier then the supposed 'Vilya' rings they sell from LotR," Elizabeth said. I made non-commital head guesture. "I don't know. I though the one they sold was kinda okay looking."

Elladan and Elrohir stared at us like we were crazy.

"Umm, well, you see, there's a- a movie (thats a series of pictures that when flipped give the impression of moving) about Middle-Earth. It's very popular," I said, attempting to explain.

Elrohir's eye twitched.

"Come on, guys. I figured that by now you would have gotten used to the fact that you're sorta famous."

Elladan said something to Elrohir. I didn't quite hear it.

"What was that?" Elizabeth asked.

Elrohir said something back to Elladan. this time we heard it, but we definitely didn't understand it.

"Aw, guys, don't go speaking Elvish! You know we can't understand you," Liz said.

"That's not Elvish," Janene said.

"Well, it's definitely not English," Liz retorted.

The twins looked back and forth at us, and finally Elladan said, "Heniach nin?" _(Do you understand me?)_

That I understood from my limited Sindarin vocabulary.

"I didn't quite catch that," Elizabeth said.

"He asked if we understood him," I explained.

Elizabeth looked at Elladan and shook her head. "Lau," _(No,)_ she told him.

Elrohir looked at us helplessly and shrugged.

"We understood each other fine before!" Liz said, becoming upset.

"Well, let's get out of here," Janene said.

We got rid of our trash and our trays and motioned for the elves to follow us. They did, and we walked for a while in silence. I could tell Elladan and Elrohir were just as confused as the rest of us.

"So, come to think of it, how did they understand English in the first place? I mean, in Middle-Earth they speak Westron," Elizabeth said.

Janene polished The Ring Of Timli on her shirt.

Liz stared at it for a second, then her eye twitched.

"Of course! Vilya! That explains it!"

"But how did Elladan understand us, if Elrohir was the one wearing the ring?" I asked.

"They're twins," Janene said. "Of course Elladan could understand us if Elrohir could."

"Oh, I get it," Liz exclaimed. "So we should tell Elrohir to put the ring back on!"

I ran to catch up with the elves, who were a ways ahead of us, and motioned for them to stop.

They slowed down and stopped simultaneously.

I started digging in Elrohir's pocket.

"Man carel le?" he asked, startled. _(What are you doing?)_

I didn't answer, but kept rummaging.

"Daro i!" he yelled, trying to get my hand out of his pocket. "Gwanno ereb nin!" _(Stop that! Leave me alone!)_

I pulled the ring out and stuck it on his finger.

"You can understand us _now_, right?" Elizabeth asked.

Elrohir looked back and forth from her to the ring on his finger.

"Oh," was all he said.

Elladan bowed. "I'm sorry for my brother's behavior. You have to admit having someone stick her hand in his pocket was quite startling. Especially with the erm...communication problem."

Liz patted Elrohir sympathetically on the back. "It's okay. I'm sure Hannah's not offended."

I nodded. "It's not your fault. But I'm glad that's taken care of."

"Yeah," said Janene. "What should we do now?"

Elizabeth shrugged and said, "Let's get back to the neighborhood before we do any planning."

We walked in silence for a little while more, then Elladan said, "I still don't understand quite why _I_ am able to understand you.

"Twins," said Janene. "Duh."

We weren't quick enough to keep Elladan and Elrohir from looking at each other and shrugging again. "What is this _duh_ word?"

"It's kind of hard to explain...it sort of means, 'It's obvious', but it's generally considered rather rude," Liz tried to explain.

"Oh," said Elladan.

"Duh," said Elrohir.


End file.
